The Force is With Us

Shining Stars and Dead Duck Planets come into alignment for Yes! 

Long, Long, Ago

in a galaxy not very far away

an evil empire came into being

which exploited indigenous

peoples for all they were worth

leaving them subjugated and

without dignity. This empire was

controlled from a DARK STAR



140730.The Force is With Us.004  

Legends and Plonkers:

1. Venus, The Bringer of Peace (Newspeak)  
Magrit “where there is discord” Thatch-ur  
Known throughout the galaxy as The Iron Lady  
Ex Yoo-K PM and Dark Overlord of 18yrs Tory warmongering and sleaze.  

2. Mars, The Bringer of War  (Truespeak)
Ton-i “who wants a fight” Blare  
Ex Yoo-K PM and Leader of Nuke Labour.  

3. Saturn, The Bringer of Auld Age  
Flash “Broony” Gordon.
Ex Yoo-K PM what we didn’t vote for.
(And what did he do to our pension-pot?)

4. Obi-wan Alexsammin  
First Meenister and Leader of the Scotia Rebels  
And a Jedi Knight as well.  

5. Princess Nico-leia  
Deputy Leader of the Scotia Rebels and Leader of the Referendumarians.  

6. Jupiter, The Bringer of Jollity  
(except the joke is on us)  
A Catastrophic Coalition of Clowns and Balloons, soon to be burst.  

6.1 Io, First Jovian Moon  
Dave “I’m a big fearty” Cameroonbar  
Descended from Scotias but now an elitist Tory toff  
and another Yoo-K Prime Meenister what we didn’t vote for.  

6.2 Europa, Second Jovian Moon  
Nik “I’m a twat” Cleggonmyface  
Deputy Dawg PM, breaker of promises, and Leader of the Lib- Dums (currently being kicked into outer space).  

6.3 Ganymede, Third Jovian Moon  
Gideon “Naw, ye cannae” Ozzyozborne  
A truly evil Underlord not quite as nice as Ming the Merciless.  

6.4 Callisto, Fourth Jovian Moon  
Eon Dunkin “donkey” Smiff. 
Lord of the DWP (Department of Workshy and Pensioners  
and Taxman to the loons wi’ Extra Bedrooms. 

7. Pluto, Lapdog to the Tories  
Ali-stare “I never lie (blink, blink)” Darkling
Known also as “Flipper” and cardboard Leader of Planet No. 

8. Black Hole  
Implosion of the once powerful fighters for social justice and equality.
Ex-socialists, now Lost in Deep Space and the undemocratic House of Layabouts.  

9. White Dwarf  
Jo-han “see that alicksammin” Lamentable  
Also known as a degenerate dwarf it is very dense and after Independence Day will be shot so far out into the far corner of the known universe you will not be able to see her even with an electron telescope. Leader of the Scotia Labourites Who Say Naw. 

10. Labour for Independence 
Scotia Labourites Who Say Aye. 
Rising stars with a truly socialist vision waiting to replace SLAB. 

11. Kipper Comet 
Uber Kok Immigration Preventers 
Here today, gone tomorrow in Scotia (hopefully). Waste-of-spacers. 

12. Uranus, The Magician 
Dan-ee “Beaker” Alexunderhan  
Muppet-puppet mouthpiece of Ganymede and conjurer who can pluck fantastical figures out of a hat and present them as not made up. 

13. A New Star in the Firmament 
Jean-Claude “Aye, ye can” Junker 
New President of the Confederation of Ee-U States 

14. Margo the Magnificent 
Even though she has already passed over to the bright side, her voice and presence can still be heard in the form of a hologram on board the MargoMobile bus. Ding, ding, what a star! 

15. Wee Green Man 
Patrick “Yoda” Harvie  
Grand Master of the Jedi Order. A prophet and  
Leader of the I Love the Planet Party 

16. Asteroid Belt and Braces 
A spontaneous explosion of newly formed stars bringing the truth to all Scotia on doorsteps and on the internet shining bright and powerful starlight on the moonshine from Planet No. 
Includes: Wings, Bella, and an astronomical phenomenon called Wee Ginger Dug. 

Gaun yersels!